Every evening I will ask myself the nightly question, "What am I going to get done tonight?" and if there is nothing pertinent, then I will think to myself, "Ooh! I really need to write a blog about the Iron Chef thingy. Maybe tonight?" But there is always papers to grade, dishes to wash, toys to clean up, and a couch to fall asleep on. Yet I keep thinking, man, I really need to write that blog. Especially when I already have a second blog post ready to go in my mind.
Unfortunately, trying new things and trying to create new habits does not create more hours in the day. Despite the fact that I cannot train the clock to create a few extra minutes (although there was one night where I got an extra sixty...), I CAN train my brain to think about taking extra time to write a reflection on what I've been through. And whether I do it immediately (which, don't kid yourself... has not happened yet) or whether I start a blog and then don't bother to finish it for 21 days... it WILL get done. Not because I have an eleven o'clock deadline on the third Thursday of the month, but because I have made it important to myself.
I think part of what makes the idea of blog posting so ominous for me is the amount of time I spend pouring over and re-reading it. I need to remember that this is for me, and I am not being graded on it... But that surely won't stop me from typing and editing the thing until 3 in the morning! I need to put less pressure (or preferably NO pressure) on myself to try and be a good writer, and more pressure on myself to freely write about the creative process and the productive struggle. I need to have the mindset that no one will actually read my blog. That it is there for me and me alone.
We are currently chatting on Twitter about thankful stuff, and yesterday's question was about an experience (success or failure) that you were thankful for, and what lesson did it teach you. Some teachers wrote about their school experiences. I thought a lot about mine, but in the end I took the easy way out, posting about my daughter. The reality of it is that writing in school was a productive struggle in every sense of the word for me. I cruised through high school with the exception of the two AP classes I took senior year. So when I got to college I had a rough learning curve about actually studying and writing college level essays. It took me two years to write something that I was proud of, and I finished it just in time to catch the end of a lecture and turn it in before class officially ended. Maybe that's why I dread writing anything lengthy.
So why does it sound like I am torturing myself? Because at the end of the day, I have managed to find myself involved in a group of educators that are pushing the envelope in the name of their students. They are actively trying to create better experiences than we might of had in school, in order to inspire the next generation. And in the process, they are inspiring me. Sure I had THOUGHT about blogging last year... but would I have actually put pressure on myself to DO IT? Or would I just shrug it off until the next week, the next month, the next semester, the next year? Who knows... What I do know is that I see others blogging, and I read their blogs, and it probably is rubbing off on me more than just "a little". [Click here to check them out]
I know that the road to success is messy and difficult. And I know the old saying: No pain, No gain. So here I am... being messy and being a little bit pained. My last blog took three weeks from start to publishing. The next blog will get written three weeks after the actual experience. But I know it'll be worth it. And I know deep down that even though it might be three weeks late, eventually I will do it because I want to.
So hopefully by writing this blog about blogging in order to avoid the topic I was supposed to be blogging about... maybe it will make the next one a little bit easier. A little bit quicker. A little less "struggle-ier". After all, the more I write the easier it will get, right? All I know is that I look forward to the process and the learning that will come with it.